Up on the Roof
by cowbell
Summary: This is set at the end of 9.1 when Harry and Ruth are on the roof and Ruth is about to tell Harry why she declined his marriage proposal.   This is how I think it should have been written ;0
1. Chapter 1

**This is set at the end of 9.1 when Harry and Ruth are on the roof and Ruth is about to tell Harry why she declined his marriage proposal. A one shot, this is how it should have been written ;0)**

**I don't own Spooks, BBC or Kudos**

"I've been thinking about why I said 'No'"

"Ruth, you don't have to"

"Because it would be a lie"

"A lie?"

"Yes Harry, a lie"

Ruth, looking to her feet, slowly gathers the courage to say what has been on her heart all day.

"The things I said to you, at the funeral, about the mistakes you made"

"Ruth, please" Harry lowers his head afraid to look her in the eyes

"That was a lie, an excuse"

"An excuse, for what?"

Raising her face to his, still lowered, and lifting her hand to smooth down his tie, Ruth feels a boldness rising inside her. It comes out of nowhere and is the feeling she has been longing for since that first day on the Grid when she first set eyes on him across the meeting room table.

"I have been making excuses for so long Harry. When Malcolm found out about our date, when George was shot and even when you asked me to marry you I found an excuse and ran. I ran away from you. I ran away from you when…when I should have been running towards you."

Harry can't look up, his eyes rooted to his shoes, eyes filling with tears as he denies himself even the smallest hint of hope. He can't be rejected again. He loved her too much, loves her still.

Ruth sighs and gently cups his chin, wet with a stray tear and brings his eyes up to meet hers.

"I love you Harry"

Her tears threaten to spill with his. She gives him the slightest sideways smile but inside her heart is breaking as a feeling of dread emerges. Has she left it too late to declare her feelings for this man she has loved for so long?

His words are stuck, his broken heart unable to comprehend or believe Ruth's declaration and stuck between despair and exhilaration he turns to face the city.

"Harry?"

Ruth places a hand on the crook of his elbow and gently squeezes.

"I am so sorry. You have always been so honest about your feelings for me and all I have done is push you away. Please believe me Harry when I tell you that I love you. I love you with so much of my heart…"

"That none is left to protest?" offers Harry as he turns to Ruth managing a small smile.

"You see, who else will finish my Shakespearean sentences for me?" smiles Ruth in return, the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach gradually subsiding.

"Ruth, my heart is yours. It has been since you stumbled into the meeting room nine years ago but I can't keep hoping this thing between us will amount to something when…"

"When it hasn't already?"

"Yes. I know my timing is terrible but….."

"Harry, you were right, timing is nothing, nothing Harry. What did Benedick say to Beatrice?"

"I can't Ruth"

"Please Harry."

Harry, taking Ruth's hands in his and with once last leap of faith that his love will be requited he reaches inside and finds in a broken voice the words she wants to hear.

"I do love nothing in the world so well as you, is not that strange?"

Grabbing the lapels of his coat she pulls him into a kiss, a long, warm kiss. As their lips collide everything that has passed between them melts away and all that is left is love, a deep love meant for only them.

Wrapping her in his embrace they look out at the city, a city they have protected for so long and yet one that will never look the same again.

**Hope you enjoyed :0)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Harry and Ruth, still on the roof…..**

They face the city, each silently absorbing the past few minutes as Harry's arms protectively embrace Ruth from behind.

Behind her Harry's head is still reeling but he is starting to trust the happiness that it coursing through him.

Ruth tilts her head back as Harry leans in for another kiss, stopping only when she turns and looks deep into his eyes.

"What do we do now?"

Harry looks at her, his hazel eyes filled with love and a mischievous smile forming on his face. Reaching down he nuzzles into her neck and with more small and delicate kisses Harry softly growls:

"I quite like what we're doing right now"

"Harry…. mmm…...no, I mean, you know, work and everything…..how do we…mmm Oh Harry, that's.. that's lovely"

"Ruth, you worry too much" he breathes into her hair. Gently kissing her ears he lifts the back of her hair and works his way round the back of her neck until he moves round to her lips once again, finding them hungry for him he explores Ruth's mouth more fiercely now.

Harry's kisses send Ruth to place she has never been before, legs weak, heart thumping she allows herself to concentrate on nothing but the tingles awakening every part of her body.

Harry slides his hands under Ruth's coat and when she doesn't resist he slips it off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Ruth reciprocates the action and even though it is a cold London evening they both know where this is going.

Standing slightly apart, facing and locked in each other's gaze they slowly take off their jackets.

Harry moves in and as he brings his lips closer to hers again she places a finger over his pouty lips as she moves to his tie. Slowly pulling the two sides apart and sliding it off Ruth has never felt so bold or so seductive.

Harry reaches up and releases the top two buttons of his shirt before sliding his hands under Ruth's top, touching her bare skin for the first time. Ruth shivers at his touch. His strong hands gently stroke her back before sliding down into the waistband of her skirt. Finding the zip he slowly undresses her.

As passion overrides her nerves Ruth reaches for Harry's belt and, fumbling a little with shaky hands she carefully reaches for his zipper. Harry gasps as Ruth slides his trousers down, caressing his bottom as she goes.

Nine years of pent up passion take over as layer by layer their clothes fall to floor.

Naked and entwined in Harrys embrace he pushes her up against the glass barrier, aching with desire for each other Ruth pulls away slowly and, pragmatic to the last she kneels down and smooth's out their coats on the ground.

Looking up at Harry with her deep blue eyes she reaches out and gently pulls him down beside her.

Every strained conversation, every missed opportunity and every other rooftop encounter are quickly forgotten as they finally make love to each other, on the rooftop of Thames House where no one can see them.

**Another chapter coming…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Back on the Grid!**

Dressed and back downstairs the Grid is deserted.

"Drink?" offers Harry

"That would be nice"

Taking her hand in his own they exit the pod they've just shared and head towards Harry's office. Sitting down on Harry's new leather couch opposite his desk, Ruth kicks off her boots and draws her knees up to her chin whilst Harry pours them both a healthy measure of his favourite single malt before retrieving something from his desk drawer.

"Are you OK Ruth?"

"Never better Harry, I mean really I have never felt happier"

"That's good but you look tense" he says sitting beside her and handing her a drink

Ruth stands up and placing the tumbler on his desk with a little more force than is necessary she starts pacing his office.

"I am such a hypocrite Harry"

Harry looks up concerned, his soft eyes inquisitive.

"What makes you say that Ruth?"

She stops pacing, faces Harry and throws her hands in the air.

"In one breath I was blaming you for the decisions you've made and in the next I was telling you that none of the bad stuff that happens is your fault. I realised today that my expectations of you were not only far too high, but completely contradictory"

"Thanks!"

"I don't mean it like that…. It's not about you not living up to my expectations, I unfairly expected you to be two different people. I am the one with issues Harry. You are, and always have been all I've ever needed, it just took me nine years to realise it."

"Well I am glad that you did. I had just about given up hope. Sit down Ruth."

Grabbing her drink, slightly sloshed over his desk she re-joins Harry on the couch.

"I'm sorry Harry but when you told me you'd handed in your resignation I realised that I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing you every day…"

"About that Ruth…."

"…..I mean how could I come in every day and look into this office and not see you here?"

"Ruth…"

"You have every right to resign of course, it shouldn't matter what I think…."

"RUTH! I haven't resigned."

"Pardon?"

"Just before you came up on to the roof I had just finished talking to Towers, I told him to dispose of my resignation letter"

"Really?"

"Really. Maybe it was because I wouldn't wish this bloody job on anyone else or maybe I thought the idea of not seeing you every day was too hard to bear as well. Whatever the reason, the letter is now in some Home Office bin. Towers even offered me a peerage, can you imagine it? Lord Pearce! I told him I was suitably ennobled."

"I quite like the sound of that actually" Ruth replies with a sly smile.

"Oh really… does Lady Pearce sound appealing too?"

Suddenly Ruth can't look at Harry as guilt sets heavy in her heart once again. Was that another proposal? She certainly didn't deserve it after turning down the last one. Harry, realising that Ruth has been spooked by his comment stands and makes towards the drinks cabinet.

"I'm sorry, that was insensitive" he says worried that he has just blown everything so quickly

"Harry, no… not insensitive. It's just, was that a proposal?"

"Ummmmm..no? Unless you want it to be. Do you want it to be?" Harry stammers pouring himself a larger measure of Scotch than before. Ruth, elated that Harry is giving her another chance pats the couch in invitation.

"Come here." Ruth's face softens into a gentle smile

Harry moves back to the couch but before he can sit down Ruth stops him with a softly raised finger.

"If you're going to ask me to marry you Sir Harry you had better do it properly"

Taking a large gulp of Dutch courage Harry rests a hand on the arm of the couch and lowers himself onto his left knee. Looking up into Ruth's deep blue eyes he takes her left hand in his.

"Ruth Evershed, you have my heart. I love you more than I ever imagined I could love anyone. Marry me?"

"Yes Harry… a thousand times yes! You have my heart too, you always did." A single tear escapes the corner of her eye and gently cascades down her cheek

Reaching inside his breast pocket he pulls out a small blue box, flicking it open Ruth sets her eyes on the most beautiful seven stone diamond ring.

"It's an eternity ring Ruth because that is as long as I indeed to be married to you"

"Are you sure it's not because it took us an eternity to get here!" mocks Ruth lovingly

"Well that too…" smiles Harry gently sliding the ring onto Ruth's finger.

"It's beautiful Harry, really beautiful. I don't deserve you."

"We deserve each other perfectly Ruth, we always have"

Harry slides next to Ruth and pulls her into his arms. She nestles into him resting her head on his chest. It is a simple action, a lover's embrace and yet one that has taken so long to reach. Both silently realising this they hold each other closer and just enjoy the feeling of togetherness they have yearned for nine long years.

**I think I'll leave it there…. Reviews please :0)**


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